Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Oh, girl.

Her eyes are dreamy with a glint of affection, yet without commitment. Passionately she feels but hides so well. She'll glance yet won't look, speak too much yet say so little. Surrounded by people yet very alone, open up she cannot. A different person to different people, she'll have your attention and not just little. She'll say and she'll run, she'll hide but she'll peek. Aloof and vague she will be, what she'll not disclose would mean more to thee. Won't fight yet won't back out, but in the end manage her way out. Peace bringer and sociable, in the heart hides some trouble. Loves the presence of both the silence and in the comfort of others around.

image created with photoshop. Brush and texture from deviantART.

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Welcome To The Machine

"Welcome my son,
Welcome to the machine.

Where have you been?
It's alright we know,
Where you've been."
- Pink Floyd

Welcome to the new look Lunatic Speaks. Though some minor changes will still be taking place over the next couple of days, this will, remain the main layout.

This is to celebrate the fact that this blog now has had over 1000 viewers (see the visitor count at the bottom of the page). Again, I'll ask, how does it feel?

ps. I love the Shoutbox. Feel free to shout there!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Because it wasn't supposed to be like this

First of all, this picture is from last year. Last year, when I wasn't in Kolkata, when I missed all the festivities and had to worry about attendance issues stuck in Vimannagar. Then, we got this project, some of us, to go to a Durga Puja in Koregaon Park, attend all the days and I had to photograph the whole event. Finally, I ended up with close to 500 pictures from one pandal, another 3 from another one, a few Faasos rolls, some freely acquired Bengali sweets and one Dimer Devil (it's a traditional Bengali snack, where a boiled egg is fried with maida coating over it.). At the end of it, I wasn't satisifed. I missed Kolkata and its Durga Puja. I missed Durgabari, Maddox Square, Deshapriya Park, Ekdalia and a whole lot of other places. I missed a lot of people, my school friends mostly with whom I used to roam around the whole city during the time of the Durga Puja.

This year, again, I was supposed to miss the Puja's. And worry about attendance issues again. Then, the swines came to the rescue - closing down the college for a week, and the week when the Puja's was on.

However, this time, I didn't feel like coming back to Kolkata.

Coming back to the city where I have loved and lost. Where each road, each streetlamp brings back some memory. And with my last trip to the city, and my worst ever, had my feelings and ideals shattered.

But then, still I came back. Had no other option, when all decisions I can't still take on my own.

So. This is Saptami late afternoon. What have I done here, in the 4-5 days I've been here? I still haven't seen a single Durga Puja. Lost my closest friend till date, for maybe forever. And, mostly, felt down in the dumps.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Death of a Dream, the Movie

Introducing Malvika Machado and Naman Saraiya. Direction, editing, sound mixing and cinematography by me, Sourya Sen. Assistant direction and choreography by Suhani Arora. Original music composed by Rabindranath Tagore, recreated by Guitar Pro. Shot in DV.

Use of headphones advised.

ps. Watch in youtube if possible. Video getting a little cropped here.

Saturday, September 5, 2009

A Distant Memory (1)

It was raining that day. Drizzling rather. It was a late monsoon rain - the kind that mildly reminds you about the coming winter.

He wasn't shaking with cold, however. It was a big day for him. Last night, and only last night, he had confessed his feelings - which he believed was love - to the person he was smitten with. And this person wanted to meet him after his school got over.

Could he expect a reply that day? Would he have to wait?

Will it be a 'yes' or would it be a 'no'?

He was scared. Apprehensive, rather.

And then he saw her. She was with her classmates, obviously. Looking cuter than ever. How could someone look cute in a school dress? Or after a day of long classes? If anyone asked him, he would have been able to answer that, then and there.

He was hesitating. Should he or should he not approach her? Should he just wait at the gate for her to come?

And suddenly they were walking together. Away from the prying eyes of their schoolmates, they went into the oli-golis they had never ventured into. At least, he had never ventured into. He wanted a smoke. Or was it her? Never mind. Always chivalrous, he had to go buy. And, today, he won't deny it. That was the first time he was buying a smoke wearing his school dress. And that too so near his school. Was his heart skipping a beat when he bought it? Yes. It was.

They wasted a lot of matchsticks trying to light that one cigarette, novices that they were at that time. And today, he can't remember whether they managed to light that one smoke.

They talked a lot. About her. A lot about her. Not much about him. He was content to listen. Wondering whether the conversation was heading. Towards a possible 'yes'? Or not? Was he even listening to what she was saying, or was he lost in his own world? He was listening, yes. But he wasn't comprehending. The talk wasn't going anywhere.

And suddenly it was time for her to go. Her mother would worry, she said.

They left those oli-golis near their school. Where he doesn't have the courage to go these days. They came out near the auto stand, and the footbridge and the place where the jhaal phuchka is sold.

There was no conclusive answer. Was the topic even raised? In a way, yes.

Just before she wass going to get up on her auto towards Ruby and just before he was about to leave towards golpark, he went and whispered in her year, "I love you. Just think about it."

I wasn't one of those romantic moments from any hindi movies. It wasn't that smoothly done either. It was just the spur of the moment, something he felt he had to say.

And as he walked away, he didn't even look back once.

A phone call, he knew, would come.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Birth of a Dream

I touched a camera after a long, long time, yesterday when I started to shoot for Death of a Dream yesterday. And I rediscovered my love for films, all over again.

I would have finished shooting yesterday if not for the rain playing a deathly game to the weather conditions. In the process of protecting the camera from the rain, I caught a cold myself. Ah, well. Nothing to be done about that.

Hopefully, I finish shooting today. And if everything goes according to plan, the short film should be ready by sunday afternoon.

Through the process of shooting, and me going through the shots over and over again this morning, and using some symbology in the film which only one person will understand - and to whom the film will be dedicated to, I realized what I've been trying to realize over the past two-three weeks.

Maybe love is what all you need, but, it's not all what you have to live for. Love finds its way, through ways more than one. And from today onwards, with the death of a dream, there is also the birth of a dream.

Now, does this make any sense?

Oh, and, be sure to watch the film!

"When you've seen beyond yourself - then you may find, peace of mind,
Is waiting there.
And the time will come when you see
We're all one, and life flows on within you and without you."

- Within You, Without You (The Beatles)