Wednesday, December 19, 2007

We all live. Either in body, or in soul.

The body shook. The boy raised his head.

So, he was alive. When he was absolutely sure he was going to die, he in fact, was not at all dead. But quiet the opposite. But was he really alive?

He opened his eyes. It took a moment to get used to the light. Or did it take a lifetime to get his eyes adjusted? He was not sure. He wasn't sure if time was working properly for him. He wasn't sure the things he had grown used to were true. Or maybe, he wasn't truly alive.

He looked around. The same everywhere. A dazzling white light. What had happened before he had gone to sleep, or to die, he wasn't sure. Where was he lying on? It was neither hard, nor soft. He looked down. He saw he was floating in space. Or was it he had lost his eyesight and could only see the white light? When your eyes stop working, can you see anything? Or is it darkness, or light? He wondered. He had lost his eyesight. He could not see his body too. Had he really lost his eyesight? Or was he dead?

He couldn't feel anything. Now he realized, he hadn't opened his eyes. He was just so used to the routine, he had felt he had opened his eyes. But he couldn't feel anything. What was going on?

Maybe he was dead.

But he could think. Can you think after you die? He wondered. Then he shook his head. But there was no head. Or was there?

Was he dead?

Or was he alive?

He was puzzled. He wanted to cry out. But could he cry out? He tried. He succeeded. But his cry reached no one, expect himself.

The body shook. The boy raised his head.

So, he was alive.

He opened his eyes. He looked around. It was the same. The same room, identical to the one in which he had gone to sleep. Or to die? He was sure he was going to die.

But, he was alive.

But, was he alive before?

Maybe, he had just been born.

Something was different. He started thinking. And the body, the surroundings were the same, but the thoughts which came, were unfamiliar to him.

He blinked. What was this all about?

But he still wasn’t sure why he thought he was going to die.

He looked around, again. It was the same. But all was different.

He had been born again.

But no! It wasn't him!

It was his consciousness.

Now he remembered.

He was sure he would live, but he was also sure, his consciousness would die.

He was right. It had died. But it had been born again.

He got up. He was free. He knew what was expected of him. He knew what he was meant to do. He knew who he truly was.

He also knew, all that was past, was merely an illusion, ways to bind him to the material world, which, in reality, or in spirituality, did not exist.

He was born again. Not from the womb of his mother. But from the souls of understanding and wisdom.

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Self Doubts

There comes a point in life when you don’t want to carry on with what you are facing. But you don’t have the courage to break free to change the way things are. The heart says something, the brain whispers something else, and you turn up doing something totally different.

What is the problem you might ask. There can be numerous. It can even be that the reasons are countably infinite. There might be a particular reason for someone’s this state, and again, this might be totally unfamiliar to someone else, who is also in the same state of disturbance.

You are disturbed. But you don’t know why. You draw into recluse. You stop listening. You stop thinking. But you don’t do anything to help yourself. And you refuse the help of others. You draw away from others. You even draw away from yourself. Then a time comes when you stop recognizing yourself.

This is not the life I wanted. A few years or even days ago, is this what I pictured myself as when I stopped to think about me in the near future? Or did I even stop to think about the future? Is this going to continue? Or am I going to win the war against myself when I finally have the courage to wage it?

Life is stale. Routine. Without any adventures. The same things repeating themselves. And maybe going to continue for ever, if I don’t do anything about them. But can I do it?

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

You Re-arrange Me, Till I'm Sane?

"You re-arrange me, till I'm sane"
- Brain Damage, Pink Floyd

That's what everyone is trying to do. Re-arrange me till I'm sane. Like I can't arrange myself properly. Like they know what's best for me. Like all of them can arrange me as they want, but how can that happen if everyone has their own version of sanity?

Rather, leave me alone. I'll arrange myself.

That'll be better for the both of us.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007


This is an old one, found it at the back of my stats copy which I'm going to throw out soon, so this needs to be preserved!
And by the way, no idea when I wrote it...must be in some stats class drooling away!


I've been dreaming since I was a kid
No, they weren't dreams, they were

Someone's chasing me
Wherever I go
Whatever I do
Someone's watching me...

Go, Go, Go,
Leave me alone I say
Go, Go, Go...

Leave this place,
Find someplace else,
Find someone else
To inject and infect...

I've had you for too long...
The fear...
The Nightmares...


Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Maybe We are All Mad

Maybe We are All Mad.

I never thought about it like the way I'm doing it now, after reading Paulo Coelho's Veronika Decides to Die. To quote the book directly, there's a line which says "Madness is the inability to express your thoughts" and summed up as "We are all mad."

To come to think of it. True.

I don't know about you, but there's been plenty of times I have felt helpless after unsuccessfully trying to promote or discuss my opinions. I have been scorned and ridiculed. And to others, then I'm mad. But I've never completely agreed with their ideas too. Then are they mad in my opinion?

Maybe we are all Mad.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Images. Sounds. Disturbance. Thoughts.

Show me a way out,
Out of this tension.

Out of the apprehension,
Bloodshed and tears.

I'm tired of the colour Red,
But there are no other colours.

Anarchy reigns.
Violent images flash.

Gun's sound their bang.
Fear controls Men.

I hate the reality.
Reality is bad.

Give me some drugs.
Intoxicate me.
Take me on a high.
Then I'll be where I want to.
I'll see what I want to.
And what do I want?
I want to see peace.
No more lies.

-Sourya Sen, 13th November 2007

Sunday, November 11, 2007

yes, Yes, YES

I know.

Most of you people are wondering why I referred to God as She.

Well, I am not in a mood to explain why. Those who are seriously interested to know, I suggest you read a book by Paulo Coelho titled "By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept".

You will get your answers.

Saturday, November 10, 2007

A few thoughts about God.

God, are you there?

And if you are, shall I refer to you as he, she or it?

Even a week ago, i scorned at the idea of god. Weaklings imagination I used to call him. Those who are weak rely on him to do everything for them.

Then two days ago, I prayed.

Was I maintaining double standards? Or was a proving myself weak?

I thought and got the answer.

Neither. God is not a person who is sitting over the earth and looking down upon us. God is residing right inside us. God is just helping us to get ourselves right. For every individual, there is an individual God. And God guided me well. Or in other words, helped me to find my own way, which I always knew was right, but was having hesitations to follow. I helped myself, and called the helping hand God. She was good to me when I needed guidance.

Yes, SHE.

Friday, November 9, 2007


Wrapped up in your own petty issues, have you ever tried to look at the wider picture? You think you're pretty important, heh? But come on, who are you? Mr. Some One, you are just one of the insignificant millions on earth...

Still think you're bloody important, heh? Now think of this, the earth is a piece of rock, which is hurtling through space at a huge speed, around a huge ball of fire, with no assurance if it will continue to do so in the next instance...

Still think you're important?
Then you are pretty thick to get into!

What if all ends today
We don't survive the stay
Here on Earth

All of us,
Gone in a glimpse
Faster than the eye blinks
Just gone

Will it matter what I did?
Will it matter what anyone did?
I guess not dear friend,
Nothing will if we just fade.

So does it matter what we do
Try to achieve in one go?
Questions are easy, answers not,
But have the time, give them a thought.

Originally written 3rd July 2007

I need a place to blab...I don't not care who reads it, or if anyone ever reads it...I do not want a diary or something like that, I'm more comfy with the keyboard these days than with a pen...and the old saying should be changed thus The keyboard is mightier than the pen, which in turn is mightier than the sword. To come to think of it...the keyboard is mightier than the can even use it as a weapon if u want!!! WHAM!!! There goes someone's

Oh come on...I seem to remember that I had something to write about it particular, but I can't seem to remember what that something was all about...My memory is seriously dwindling...Wonder why we can't buy extra RAMs or something and attach them to the brain...Nice idea..should suggest to some specialist - who - deals - in - this - kind - of - thing - and - I - can't - remember - what - they - are - called...

I'm raving...talking too much bullshit...

Back Later!

he lunatic aka sourya who also goes by the alias ayruos (which is just his name spelt backwards)
Or maybe, it's the lunatic speaking who lives in his head!